He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Found the puke drawer
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
