i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
