I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
