you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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