Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I need moral support for this bender
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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