I'm really into asian looking animals
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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