is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
