he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
