ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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