Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
