The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I died a long time ago.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Little spoons don't ask big questions
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Randomize
