I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
