It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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