lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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