I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
