Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do vagina's smell?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
