So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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