I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Randomize
