sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
the raccoons are back...
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