is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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