How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
