guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
