he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
