You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
