found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my being single is dangerous.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
