you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
