So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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