Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
