Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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