ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
