I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
