I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
dude. I can hear the air.
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