I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
