He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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