we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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