check it out our google latitudes are spooning
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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