Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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