Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
