This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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