its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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