I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You ruined the universe
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
