I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
