I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
