still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
