i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
