At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
