Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
