So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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