he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
