When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
