Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
