Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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