party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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