Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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