my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
