Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
