Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
