I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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