He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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